Okay, I am back again. Just get scolded by my dad. He asked where did I go ? I said I went to play guitar with friends. He told me not to lie. In fact , I did really went out to play guitar. I just kept quiet and get scolded as I doesn't want to make him upset even further .He even check my wallet and see whether did I use the money to buy cigs. I didn't even spend a single cent when I was out just now.I am also trying to quit. I already cut down alot. I know all the things he done, is mainly for my sake . I know he cares alot for me. But Imagine your parents , telling you not to lie to them . This aint the first time. I understand I have done mischievous stuffs in the past such as taking my sister's car out for a ride, and I get caught by them and get lectured . I did try to amend my mistakes. They are giving me pressure including my sis. As in, where did I go ? do what ? etc.... Why does it feel so difficult to communicate to them .You know when you are trying to avoid someone from letting them know what you did outside ( to prevent them from worrying too much ), what do you do ? You will definitely lie right ? I know that telling a lie will require more lies to cover it up . Why do I lie ? because I doesn't want them to worry for me too much .
I understand how they feel , I know I am disappointing them. I even think of earning as much money as possible to repay them. Im just a teenager . I definitely doesnt want to waste my youth away. SOMETIMES, I felt that my house is a prison , the only excitement is my laptop.
I still have alot to blog it out, but I doesnt know how to explain the feelings I am feeling right now. Forget it .
Sorry Dad.